Chapter 6
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Under the dim light, Jeremy’s eyes were shadowed, unreadable.
“Eloise, what kind of twisted game are you playing with me?”
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That’s when I realized my forehead was burning, heat radiating like fire.
Was I imagining things?
Or was there a flicker of concern in his tone?
A carrot after a stick?
I almost laughed at myself.
”
“Eloise, you must be completely delirious from the fever,” I thought to myself.
“Jeremy hates you so much that even if you dropped dead right in front of him, he probably wouldn’t blink.
On the coffee table sat a cup of steaming chamomile tea.
A half–burned cigarette rested between his fingers, and his voice cut through the air like ice.
“You didn’t take your medicine even though you have a fever? Are you trying to die?”
I just stared at him, frozen in place.
His brows drew together in irritation.
“Eloise, remember this. Your life belongs to me.”
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For years, he had reminded me over and over how much he despised me.
He would never forget that time he lay in bed on the edge of life and death, and I walked away without looking back.
Or that I dared to have another man’s child.
So, no matter how he tortured me or took his revenge, I would tell myself I deserved it.
This is what should happen to me.
I reached out and swept the cup from the table. Dark brown liquid spilled across the floor.
“Then take it back.”
“Jeremy. I’m tired. When will this end?” I wondered internally.
His eyes reddened. He slammed his fist into the wall, and blood dripped from his knuckles.
“You’re proud, aren’t you? Watching me lose my mind over you?
“Eloise, you’re so damn cruel!”
I smiled faintly, but there was no warmth in it.
Jeremy, am I really the cruel one?
For three years, I have gone over my words a thousand times, trying to make him understand.
“Jez, can you give me a chance to explain?
“Jez, what happened back then isn’t what you think.”
But he would only sneer and toss me a sign.
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Chapter 6
A sign with the words “I am a horrible woman.”
“If you want to talk, fine,” he’d say.
“First, run around the city center twice with this on your chest.”
That day, the pain in my chest felt as vast as the ocean.
I forced a smile, my voice like frost.
“Jeremy, my heart’s been dead for a long time.”
Then, unexpectedly, Gaspard’s doctor brought good news.
He told me the surgery with Dr. Marcus was confirmed for next week.
I knew instantly this had to be Jeremy’s doing.
Gaspard blinked up at me with wide, innocent eyes.
“Mom, what’s surgery?
“Will it hurt?”
I stroked his hair, my chest aching.
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“Don’t be afraid, sweetheart. I’ll be right here.
“Once you’ve had a good sleep, we’ll go play football,”
Gaspard had always been active, but because of his health, his life had been confined to indoors.
More than anyone, I wished for him to have a childhood as healthy and carefree as other kids.
The nursing home was not far from St. Patrick’s Cathedral, the most famous church in New York.
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I had never been religious, but for Gaspard’s sake, I had become a regular
visitor there.
