Chapter 21
Nathaniel’s jaw tightens, but his eyes never leave mine. “Sophia,” he says softly, “you don’t owe him anything, not after what he’s doing. If he’s hurting you, you have every right to walk away. You deserve to be safe. You deserve better than this.”
I shake my head, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. I blink them away, but the ache in my chest doesn’t go anywhere. “I don’t know if I can leave. I don’t know what that would do to everything… to everyone.”
“You don’t have to make that decision alone,” Nathaniel says, his voice steady but full of emotion. “I’ll be here. I’ll be by your side, no matter what. You’re not alone in this.”
His words linger in my mind like a haunting melody, and deep down, I know that if I ever do give in to the truth, it’ll be because of him. And I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. Not yet.
It was a battle, one I wasn’t ready to give up on just yet. Tristan had changed, and so had I. Our bond, once so strong, had splintered, and nothing I did seemed to fix it. I kept telling myself that I could make things right, that I could patch the pieces together.
But deep down, I knew that was a lie. I had tried everything: soft words, passionate pleas, and even desperate attempts to relive the good old days, the ones where Tristan and I had been everything to each other. But he wasn’t the same. He couldn’t be. And no matter how much I wanted things to go back to the way they were, I had to face the truth. It hurt more than anything I could ever imagine.
And yet, I refused to let go. I couldn’t. Maybe I was stubborn because I’d given him twelve years of my life; maybe it was pride, because I had gone against my own family to be with Tristan.
But I wasn’t ready to accept that what we had was gone forever. I couldn’t accept that the person I thought I knew, the person I thought I would always be with, had slipped through my fingers, piece by piece. I wasn’t ready for that finality. Not yet.
“Sophia, Nathaniel’s voice was soft, almost too soft, as if he was trying not to scare me. “Please, let me help you. You don’t have to keep everything bottled up. His words felt like a quiet plea, and I hated that. I hated how sincere he sounded, as if I was truly broken and needed someone to fix me. I wasn’t broken. Not in the way he thought.
“I don’t need your help, Nathaniel,” I snapped, my voice sharp as a knife. I could hear the tension in my own words, the way I was pushing him away. But I didn’t care. I had done enough relying on people. I wasn’t about to make myself vulnerable again.
But suddenly…I felt his arms wrap around me.
I froze. Every muscle in my body tensed as I stood there, caught in the unexpected embrace.
My gut told me to shove him away, to snap at him to back off, to prove I wasn’t some delicate thing needing comfort. But I didn’t. Instead, I stood there, still, trapped between wanting to shove him off and not being able to move at all. My mind screamed at me to push him away, to stay strong, to not let anyone else in.
But there was something about the way he held me, something so steady and sure, that made me hesitate.
And then I let myself feel it. The warmth, the safety, the feeling of being held when everything else had seemed so broken. For a moment, I allowed myself to enjoy the feeling of being valued. The sensation was unfamiliar, but it was comforting, like I had been standing in the cold for far too long and someone had finally wrapped a blanket around me.
I closed my eyes, allowing myself to melt into the embrace just for a moment.
My heart started to unravel, bit by bit, and before I could stop myself, I felt a tear escape. And then another. And another.
*I… I don’t know what to do anymore,” I choked out, my voice thick with emotion. “I’m so tired of trying to make things right, Nathaniel. I just… I just want things to go back to how they were. With Tristan. But everything’s falling apart, and I don’t know how to fix it…”
My sobs came out more violently now, uncontrollable and raw. All the hurt, all the pain that I had been holding in for so long, broke free in that moment. My shoulders shook with each sob, and I clung to Nathaniel without even realizing it, burying my face into his chest, letting myself fall apart completely.
For the first time in so long, I felt like someone was there, like someone actually cared enough to hold me when I was broken. I wanted to push him away. I should have, but I didn’t. Instead, I let him hold me tighter, his hand rubbing my back soothingly, whispering soft reassurances that I wasn’t alone.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt like this. I’d been so focused on trying to hold everything together, but in that moment, I realized that I couldn’t do it alone. I didn’t have to. And maybe, just maybe, that was okay.
